To The Silent Abuser a Different Take

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

Do you ever wonder

   why I hide inside my shell?

Do you ever consider

   how your manipulative words put me through hell?

You call me stupid

   because I don’t see it your way

You never apologize

   for the heartbreaking things that you say

The words I hate you

   run through my head

Every time you tell me I’m so stupid

   that I’m better off dead

My mind shatters

   when you call me ugly and fat

Starving myself to the point

   where my body is immobile here where it’s at

My heart breaks

   with every wicked word  you spew

Do you  know that you are controlling,

   and that I hide because of you?

My clothes are too tight, too big

   I should wear them a different way

That wrinkle that you caused,

   I need to cover and hideaway

You compliment my beauty 

   as natural to see

Until no one is around,

   then the insults you let fly free

I need to change

   to dress and act like all of them

From where do you think

   all my insecurities stem?

Your razored tongue slices,

   enticing my pain

My senses are numbing,

   pleading to be slain

You never hit me with fists

   this much is true

This damage is worse

   this mind rape that you do

My brain screams 

   for death’s peaceful release

For all this mental torture

   to finally cease.

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