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  • Achieving,  Belonging,  future,  Inspiration,  loss,  Love,  Poetry,  romance,  sorrow,  writing

    I Am Choosing Me


    Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
    I do not want to be here I am tired of the pain
    Your indifference and the solitude is making me insane
    I feel trapped in this abyss that has become my heart
    Your words have me drowning, they are tearing me apart
    I cry for the future and cry for the past
    I wonder how long I can truly last
    I am slowly dying from the pain that is destroying my mind
    You never seem to notice are you really, truly blind
    Your words are like daggers they cut me to the bone
    The tears that I cry, are ones you have never known
    Not because you do not see them but because you do not care
    Though you are with me it is though you are not even there
    I am tired of crying, my tears I will wipe clean
    My spirit is waking, longing to be seen
    If you will not reach me I will have to let you go
    I am choosing to live, I just thought you should know
    I have waited for something that I hoped would come to be
    I waited too long hoping you would finally see
    Your eyes have not opened and my mind has paid the price
    Well I am done paying, I am done playing nice
    If you will not see me and show me the way
    Then my time I am taking and goodbye I will say
    I hoped for a future that is clearly impossible to reach
    Now I am reaching for a solution that a lesson could not to teach
    My time was not wasted nor will I regret
    I have treasured many moments I will not soon forget
    But I move on to a horizon that for me has time to spare
    To find a path with room enough for me to share
    Not to walk alone without love by my side
    I have decided I no longer want to run and hide
    I will face this truth strongly and use its power to grow
    I am choosing myself and I just thought you should know
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  • adult,  Friendship,  future,  Love,  Poetry,  romance

    A Friendship to Love

    Why must it be always this way
    Why must I wait for the beautiful words that you say
    Time I must steal, the mere minutes you give
    Though we are apart, in my heart you will live
    You have touched my soul the part of me I hide from the light
    I tried to keep you out, I tried will all my might
    Your words were too sweet penetrating this wall
    The words touched too deeply causing me to fall
    To believe them would be heaven, a moonlight kiss
    My heart is leary though something is amiss
    Could it be the beauty or my thought of worth 
    Could it be that there is something since this relationships birth
    Though friends is what we are your words long for love 
    Could this all be a lie or a gift from above
    I will watch from a distance which path will we take
    I will stay in the shadows until a decision I can make
    Whether I trust in the beauty and give love in the end
    For now, I feel lucky to have you as my friend
  • family,  future,  Inspiration,  Military,  parenting,  remembering,  Sacrifice,  Thank you,  world

    Thank You: You Are A Hero

    Good afternoon all. Today I would like to take the time to thank all those who serve in the military. No matter where you are from or what military you serve in, THANK YOU.

    I was sitting with my son, scrolling through Facebook when I saw a video of returning soldiers. Needless to say, I was in tears and my 3-year-old was asking me what was wrong. I did not know how to explain it to him. So, I sat and thought about it. I tried to come up with a way to explain to my child why I was crying. Well as it normally does, this line of thought brought me to other thoughts. Like how would you tell a child that their mommy or daddy will not be home for a few weeks, months, or even years? Now here I am. After my tear-filled realization brought on by a Facebook post.

    I felt the need to say thank you to all of the men and women who leave their homes and serve to protect others from the monstrosities that are in the world. Thank you to the men and women who stay at home and keep children, pets and family members safe while their loved ones serve a higher purpose. Thank you to the children who wait patiently for mom or dad to come home from service to share a little time with them. To all of you, thank you. You are all heroes.

    Now, I have thought of soldiers and their sacrifice on many occasions. I think of the time they spend away from their families so that I may tuck my children into bed at night. I have also thought of the men and women who are here at home and keep things going until their soldier comes home. What I had not really thought about was the children who wait for their soldiers to come home. Wait, let me clarify that. I have thought about them, I have just never sat down and thought of the emotional and mental strain this must put on those waiting at home. I have considered the soldiers and all of their stresses and longings to be home and their spouses stress waiting for them. I just had never really visualized what these children go through. Having parents absent for important events in life is hard enough. Having them absent because they are defending the world is entirely different.

    I sat and imagined what it would be like to talk to my children weekly through a computer or phone screen. I thought about the feelings my children would have if their daddy wasn’t home every night for dinner. I thought about how my children would feel if I was not here to tuck them in at night. This made my heart hurt so much. I realized how big of heroes these children are as well as their soldier loved ones. For that reason, I say thank you to them the most. Thank you for giving up all of the things we take for granted so that our families can be protected. You are the biggest heroes of them all.

    I hope that you all can take a minute out of your busy day to say thank you to someone who is waiting for their soldier to come home.

    On behalf of my family, I say thank you to the soldiers serving in the military and sacrificing, I say thank you to the family members left at home, and I say a humongous thank you to the children who are waiting on their soldiers to return to tuck them in at night. You are all appreciated and we send you hugs and inspiration.

    As always, my friends inspire to be inspired and do not just follow your dreams, grab them by the horns and give them wings.