It Is Okay

Having surgery as a busy mother is almost impossible. When you have no choice you count on your family and pray for strength. The guilt game one plays on themselves as a mother begins way before the pain of the surgery. The pain of the actual surgery is nothing compared to what we cause ourselves. The feelings of inadequacy and uselessness are unbearable. While I sit here trying to recover, this is the game I play in my head. I can’t change what had to be done. But as a mother I feel completely at fault for what I currently cannot do. As I watch my children step up to do my job, the pain sears my heart. Everyone seems upset and stressed, mad even. Is this what they feel or just my guilt overreacting.

I hope that all of you have a support system in times like these. I know it is hard and unbearable to watch your whole life from a bed. But I want you all to know, it is okay to be weak. It is okay to ask for help. They need you to get better to be the mother they need. Give yourself time to heal so you won’t have more complications.

Most of all remember they love you and IT IS OKAY.

When Mom Gets Sick

Today I have decided to touch on the subject of moms getting sick. As a mother of six, I know all to well the challenges of keeping them all healthy. The daily struggle of keeping them well and making sure they have what they need. After all, that is mom’s job. But what happens when mom is the one that is sick?

This is a topic that doesn’t get discussed often. Moms don’t get sick, do they? Let me tell you we do. While most times we suffer through and go about life as usual, there are some times that just doesn’t work. As I prepare to have my fourth surgery, I see the true effects of mom being sick. Not only does it take its toll on all involved for obvious reasons. It also takes an emotional toll on mom. Not only does she have to worry about what ever ailment she is dealing with, she also deals with guilt felt for slacking on her daily duties, sadness for time she is missing with her children, anxiety about things getting done, and even depression as a result of the afore mentioned.

Though none of this can be controlled, as a mother it is our natural instinct to try. We push ourselves making sure everything is ready. We make contingency plans for our contingency plans. Then we start again, in an effort to make sure everyone is taken care of while we are incapable of carrying out our duties.

Well, I just want to say to all of the mothers out there (and fathers, grandparents, and any other role you may have), it is okay to take care of you. Take time to make sure you are good, so you can continue to work your daily miracles for years to come. Your family will be okay. Let yourself heal and worry about the rest later. Your family needs you to be okay, to make them okay.

I wish all of you health and happiness always. Take care and remember to look for inspiration in every day and inspire someone else.

Remembering The Heroes

Today is a day in American history most of us will never forget. We can all remember where we were when the first plane hit and what we were doing when the first tower fell.

I know I remember arriving at work and seeing the news and the faces of my co-workers. I also remember the feeling of helplessness driving back home. The tears that flowed as we watched neighbors nervously waiting to see if their loved ones were okay.

Today I pay tribute to all those who lost their lives, all those who risked their lives to save the survivors, and all of the family members not only left behind but also those who spent those hours waiting to know. All of these people are heroes to me. Each year we honor the survivors, the lost, and the rescue workers. I think we should honor each person who was touched by this horrific attack.

I truly hope that we can all find peace with the events of this day. I am saddened that this is now a chapter in my child’s history book. I hope that she may be able to live to see these acts of hatred cease. May we all.

So to all of you whether a survivor, rescuer, lost one, and others who suffered on this day, you are all heroes to me. You will never be forgotten. May your stories serve as an example of what our country can become. May peace prevail not only in our country but around the world.

Inspiring the Future

The words “children are the future of our world,” resonate daily across the globe. When we see good statistics on school grades, the census is that we are educating our future well. What happens when grades are low, or youth delinquency is on a rise? Does this mean that we are creating a future, where these will be the trends? Maybe, this just means we need to find a way to inspire the youth of today, to see an inspirational future.

With 5 children, ranging in age from 2 to 24, boys and girls, I see a varied spectrum of interests for each. While one is all about sports and vampire books, this bores others. The same is true for most children, very view have the exact same interests. They will have similarities, but seldom the same. Thus, each child requires an individual perspective and approach to keep them engaged. As parents, we become familiar with the ever changing likes and dislikes of our children. Using this knowledge, we strive to find what we can do as a family, that will satisfy everyone’s desires and keep their attention peaked. Let’s be honest, we are all looking for something they will all agree on, to avoid a meltdown in the middle of a family weekend. What if there was a way to achieve exactly that?

In the search for peace in my house, I have decided the only way to achieve it, is to inspire my children to achieve it. Each of my children have an interest in games and baseball/softball. Working with this base to form the foundation for group activities will give me at least 20 minutes of agreement. Next comes individual interests. Each week another interest can be added to family activities, with the understanding that, they do not have to like said activity, they just have to explore it. Like, trying a bite of new foods, before deciding they are disgusting. For example, 2 of my children love Harry Potter, 2 others were not interested. So, one weekend, that was what we watched. Everyone had to sit and watch part of the movie, then after awhile, if still uninterested, they could do something else. Turns out, they all enjoyed the movies, and mom got to sit and watch a couple hours of tv with minimal frustration. A win, win situation.

Thus, if we want our future to be an inspirational one, we need to teach our children to make it that way. Negativity and conflict, breed more of the same. So too, positivity and peace, breed the same. If we give choices, with a try first approach, we can breed this positivity and peace. Thereby, setting the stage for a positive future. Teaching our children to make good choices is excellent, inspiring them to try new things and make educated choices, is even better.

So what will we inspire today? I personally am set out to inspire love, peace, and educated choices.

Mary