Having surgery as a busy mother is almost impossible. When you have no choice you count on your family and pray for strength. The guilt game one plays on themselves as a mother begins way before the pain of the surgery. The pain of the actual surgery is nothing compared to what we cause ourselves. The feelings of inadequacy and uselessness are unbearable. While I sit here trying to recover, this is the game I play in my head. I can’t change what had to be done. But as a mother I feel completely at fault for what I currently cannot do. As I watch my children step up to do my job, the pain sears my heart. Everyone seems upset and stressed, mad even. Is this what they feel or just my guilt overreacting.
I hope that all of you have a support system in times like these. I know it is hard and unbearable to watch your whole life from a bed. But I want you all to know, it is okay to be weak. It is okay to ask for help. They need you to get better to be the mother they need. Give yourself time to heal so you won’t have more complications.
Most of all remember they love you and IT IS OKAY.
Today I have decided to touch on the subject of moms getting sick. As a mother of six, I know all to well the challenges of keeping them all healthy. The daily struggle of keeping them well and making sure they have what they need. After all, that is mom’s job. But what happens when mom is the one that is sick?
This is a topic that doesn’t get discussed often. Moms don’t get sick, do they? Let me tell you we do. While most times we suffer through and go about life as usual, there are some times that just doesn’t work. As I prepare to have my fourth surgery, I see the true effects of mom being sick. Not only does it take its toll on all involved for obvious reasons. It also takes an emotional toll on mom. Not only does she have to worry about what ever ailment she is dealing with, she also deals with guilt felt for slacking on her daily duties, sadness for time she is missing with her children, anxiety about things getting done, and even depression as a result of the afore mentioned.
Though none of this can be controlled, as a mother it is our natural instinct to try. We push ourselves making sure everything is ready. We make contingency plans for our contingency plans. Then we start again, in an effort to make sure everyone is taken care of while we are incapable of carrying out our duties.
Well, I just want to say to all of the mothers out there (and fathers, grandparents, and any other role you may have), it is okay to take care of you. Take time to make sure you are good, so you can continue to work your daily miracles for years to come. Your family will be okay. Let yourself heal and worry about the rest later. Your family needs you to be okay, to make them okay.
I wish all of you health and happiness always. Take care and remember to look for inspiration in every day and inspire someone else.