Good afternoon. Today I have decided to talk about another topic that is personal and dear to my heart. Hidden illnesses. Those that we all suffer, but only a few truly know we suffer. Mine is bi-polar. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, however, have suffered the effects of this illness for far longer. For those who do not know, this illness causes a chemical imbalance in my brain. Basically, I feel like I am on a roller coaster with changing emotions from day to day or even hour to hour. To look at me no one would know that inside my head, I struggle daily. I have very good days, and then very bad ones. Certain things trigger my changes, and I am beginning to understand these triggers. Kind of. Anyone who has read my writing will see a difference. Some days are dark and sad, others are happy and inspiring. The face I show the world though, is normally inspirational and positive. I do not want my illness to affect the lives of those around me. I do not want my loved ones to suffer the unknown I live inside my head. While this is a lonely world that leaves me feeling like I am alone in a room full of people, I have my writing. This is my comfort zone. My safe haven so to speak. When I write, I can just be me. Whatever I am feeling, I can write, without being judged.
So, my hope is that while we are all celebrating this holiday season, we will keep in mind those who are secretly suffering. The ones you know about and the ones who may have it hidden so well, they are not even aware yet. Many suffer in silence, like I do, because they do not want others to feel sorry for them or be adversely affected. Just be kind to everyone you meet. You do not know what that person sitting next to you on the subway or standing behind you in line may be suffering.
Have a wonderful holiday season. And remember to inspire others so you too may be inspired.Advertisements
Having surgery as a busy mother is almost impossible. When you have no choice you count on your family and pray for strength. The guilt game one plays on themselves as a mother begins way before the pain of the surgery. The pain of the actual surgery is nothing compared to what we cause ourselves. The feelings of inadequacy and uselessness are unbearable. While I sit here trying to recover, this is the game I play in my head. I can’t change what had to be done. But as a mother I feel completely at fault for what I currently cannot do. As I watch my children step up to do my job, the pain sears my heart. Everyone seems upset and stressed, mad even. Is this what they feel or just my guilt overreacting.
I hope that all of you have a support system in times like these. I know it is hard and unbearable to watch your whole life from a bed. But I want you all to know, it is okay to be weak. It is okay to ask for help. They need you to get better to be the mother they need. Give yourself time to heal so you won’t have more complications.
Most of all remember they love you and IT IS OKAY.
Today I have decided to touch on the subject of moms getting sick. As a mother of six, I know all to well the challenges of keeping them all healthy. The daily struggle of keeping them well and making sure they have what they need. After all, that is mom’s job. But what happens when mom is the one that is sick?
This is a topic that doesn’t get discussed often. Moms don’t get sick, do they? Let me tell you we do. While most times we suffer through and go about life as usual, there are some times that just doesn’t work. As I prepare to have my fourth surgery, I see the true effects of mom being sick. Not only does it take its toll on all involved for obvious reasons. It also takes an emotional toll on mom. Not only does she have to worry about what ever ailment she is dealing with, she also deals with guilt felt for slacking on her daily duties, sadness for time she is missing with her children, anxiety about things getting done, and even depression as a result of the afore mentioned.
Though none of this can be controlled, as a mother it is our natural instinct to try. We push ourselves making sure everything is ready. We make contingency plans for our contingency plans. Then we start again, in an effort to make sure everyone is taken care of while we are incapable of carrying out our duties.
Well, I just want to say to all of the mothers out there (and fathers, grandparents, and any other role you may have), it is okay to take care of you. Take time to make sure you are good, so you can continue to work your daily miracles for years to come. Your family will be okay. Let yourself heal and worry about the rest later. Your family needs you to be okay, to make them okay.
I wish all of you health and happiness always. Take care and remember to look for inspiration in every day and inspire someone else.