Disillusionment Sutra The smallest unit of hope is fantasy— I am wishing again for peace though the razor, some minutes ago, was pulled out of my right thigh, stained. I want to believe loneliness, gutted, will reveal the primacy of devotion, that the body, in the absence of hands holds itself. But look, all this […]

Four Poems by Pamílèrín Jacob

This is some amazing advice. We all need a place to start and someone to say “Hey let me tell you what I know”. I am grateful to Christian Mihai for sharing this important information.

Every person needs time to breathe. Unfortunately, in the fast paced world we live in, many don’t experience this time near enough. That is the topic today. Finding time in our chaotic schedules, for ourselves.

We all have our schedules, whether we actually stick to them as planned or not, we have them. Most days in our house start out with breakfast and getting ready for school. Then comes cleaning and cooking, while the masses are away. After school are groups, homework, sports, chores, dinner, baths, and bed. So, where in there is rest or time to think about ones own desires. As a mother, this thought often seems selfish and indulging. However, I have come to understand, that without this time, mom is a little grumpy. Not because I am a selfish person, just because we all need to feel like we matter, and this is the time we can get that.

We spend our lives worrying about what everyone else needs to succeed and be happy. It is only natural that we should do the same for ourselves. Nurturing our own desires, does not have to be a day where we do nothing but self indulgence. It could be as simple as taking 10 minutes out of your busy day, to really enjoy a cup of coffee and think about the things that make you happy. Or maybe you could just relax in a bubble bath, and listen to your favorite music. You know the music that your children always tell you, sounds horrible, or makes no sense. The activity is not the important part, it is the giving yourself a small amount of time, to be important to yourself. This small release can stimulate your mind. By giving you a boost of confidence, it gives your whole mood a boost. Thus lifting your spirits and brightening your whole outlook. This in turn is portrayed to those around you, and can substantially lift the mood of any atmosphere.

So my challenge to all of you is to take “me time”, every day for a week, then leave a comment about your results. Share with your friends and family, the successes of your week. Let us know what worked and didn’t work for you.

No matter what else you do, stay inspired, and strive to inspire others. Wishing you all a fabulous weekend.

Mary

So today I need a little advice from my readers. All parents have been through or are going to go through my current situation. I am speaking of the transformation of ones child from child to what they consider adulthood. (To us parents this would be the teenage years.) With this joyful time of their lives comes dating decisions, like how old should they be, what requirements should be set and what are the ground rules. While, I have been through this already, with my oldest child, he is 24 now and well into making his own decisions. I started out telling my daughter when she was like 10 (and asked for the first boyfriend), that until she could give me the definition of love, she was not old enough. I figured this would give me until she was about 30 or so. No such luck. Now 13, she has decided she is old enough for a boyfriend and that love is different to everyone, so there is no definition per se. So dad tried the, “well when you show responsibility and do your chores without being told, you can have a boyfriend”. Well, guess we need a new tactic or we start entertaining the idea of a boyfriend hanging around. Not that either of us are ready for that, but a convent seems a little extreme (or maybe not).

So my question to all my fellow parents out there is: when should dating start, and how do you decide? Please leave comments with your ideas. I think this is a good topic for discussion amongst friends, family, and every parent out there.

Stay inspired all, and have a wonderful week. Hope to hear all of your views.

Mary

Today, I decided to write something a little more fun. Many of the women I know are mothers, so I am sure you will be able to relate.

We all hear about the honey-do list, well in my house we have that, however we also have the mommy-do list. Which unfortunately (for me at least), is referred to far more often. With 5 children, ages 2, 7, 10, 13, and 24, there is never a dull moment in my house. Or time to sleep, for that matter. Most days start out wonderfully. They go something like wake up, check the whether, drink a cup of coffee, wake up children. That is where the peace of the morning normally ends in my house. From the time their beautiful eyes flutter open, the, mom I need and mom can you, begins. Mind you I wouldn’t trade these moments for the world, because I know far too soon, they will be gone. Still though, maybe say good morning first.

After the morning routines are over and I am getting ready to play taxi, the new list starts. Mom I have soccer, or don’t forget practice after school. Then, of course there always comes the days when 3 of the 5 have an event at almost the same time. These are the days I wish I had a storm shelter in the back yard. It starts out, with one politely (or so they think), telling me not to forget his or her game at such and such time. Then the other 2 chime in, (in stereo, with the bass and surround sound definitely kicked to high), with but mom you have to be at my game. I try to breathe while I wait for the storm cloud to dissipate, (let’s face it, this might be my only chance to breathe until they go to bed), and I remind them that I will be at one game until it is over and will rush to the next and so on. Then there are the days when games are at the same time, so without fail, mom is now the enemy because, she chose the other persons game. Thankfully, this rarely happens, because having 2 of 5 children mad at you at the same time is hard to keep up with.

After, sports they all come home and start the routine of, Mom, I’m hungry, what’s for dinner, and did you get my uniform washed? Then of course, while I am making dinner, one of them always asks, if they can have a snack until dinner, oh and by the way will you cut it for me too? Then five minutes later ask me if dinner is done yet. Well no honey it is not, between cutting your apple and making your sandwich, I haven’t had time to cook it yet. Come on, do I look like a machine here or what? Of course I would never say that, but think it, definitely.

Well after dinner is done and homework is checked, one would think there would be time for relaxing for five minutes right? Of course not. That’s when the next day’s list starts. With the oh yeah, I have a game tomorrow or I have a choir concert, so can you help me find my clothes? (You mean the ones I washed, folded, and put in your basket to take to your room?) I will help you look for them, just give me a minute.

All this chaos leads to my favorite part of the day, bedtime. Yeah, I know that sounds mean, but it is not for the reason you think. Bedtime is the one time during the day, when we do hugs and kisses, blessings for a good night and sweet dreams. We have five minutes of calm, where love can be seen in the eyes of each one of my precious little monkeys. Then the two year old, snuggles next to me and falls asleep. These are the moments that make the mommy-do list all worth while.

So I am sending a great big shout out to all the moms out there, and dads too, who complete this list daily, with a smile (and maybe a glass or two of wine) and treasure every moment of it. Enjoy them while they last, and treasure the young adults they become. After all, one day they will have their own lists to be completing, then they will look back and say, “Wow Mom, you did a lot. Thank you.” Of course we will reply with, just doing my job, but deep down you know your mental self is smiling ear to ear.

These are the victories in life that are worth celebrating and never letting go of. I hope your day is full of memories for tomorrow. Stay inspired and enjoy the ride.

Mary

In deciding what to write today, I took a cue from my 13 year old. As we all get ready for the long awaited day that our children will return back to school, (after what seems like a very long three months) life can be chaotic and stressful. There are clothes to buy, haircuts to get, and what seems like a million supplies. While buying clothes, I heard “but my friends have those,” for what must have been the tenth time, when it hit me. Half of the stress that is felt during this joyous time for parents, is the worry of fitting in.

We all traverse the stage, we call our life worrying about whether we will fit in or not. From childhood to adulthood, we worry about playmates or in-laws liking us, and fitting into our new surroundings.

Why should fitting in be so monumental in our thought process? Would it not be logical to worry about standing out instead. Such as “I wonder if I will stand out for doing my best today,” or “maybe if I stood out a little more from my colleagues, I would get that promotion I was dreaming of.” Personally, I think standing out and being different is a wonderful thing. Maybe it is just my way of trying to say I am normal. I have lived many years trying to fit in, and being horribly upset and uncomfortable, because, in truth I never have. I have always thought differently, or done things others considered strange. I mean really, how many 21 year olds, were happier at home reading a book, than being in a club dancing with friends. Well, maybe just me, or possibly quite a few, who don’t because, they are trying to fit in.

So here is my new challenge, showing the world, (or at least my children) that it is okay to stand out and be imperfectly themselves. No matter who that is.

I hope you all have a perfectly imperfect week. Remember, be true to yourselves, live, love, and let the masses worry about fitting in.

Mary