• loss,  sorrow

    Flowers of Sorrow

    How do you let go, when you couldn’t say goodbye?

    How do you move on, when all you want to do is cry?

    The tears flow freely, never seeming to end.

    You face the day, forced to smile and pretend.

    The sorrow is brightened by the flowers on display.

    Their color reminds you of the games you used to play.

    Again the tears find you,ripping and tearing your heart.

    Your heart is broken, you are falling apart.

    The emptiness that is left, leaves a hole nothing can fill.

    Though it was years ago it hurts you still.

    When innocence is lost, it is the worst kind of pain.

    It destroys your mind until it makes you insane.

    Answers are not given, understanding never arrives.

    The sorrow still grows, on your insanity is thrives.

    Flowers each year to commemorate the day.

    Flowers for sorrow, because there are no words you can say.

    Nothing explains it, the pain that is making you blue.

    Nothing contains it, as it is slowly killing you.

  • family,  Inspiration,  parenting,  sickness

    It Is Okay

    Having surgery as a busy mother is almost impossible. When you have no choice you count on your family and pray for strength. The guilt game one plays on themselves as a mother begins way before the pain of the surgery. The pain of the actual surgery is nothing compared to what we cause ourselves. The feelings of inadequacy and uselessness are unbearable. While I sit here trying to recover, this is the game I play in my head. I can’t change what had to be done. But as a mother I feel completely at fault for what I currently cannot do. As I watch my children step up to do my job, the pain sears my heart. Everyone seems upset and stressed, mad even. Is this what they feel or just my guilt overreacting.

    I hope that all of you have a support system in times like these. I know it is hard and unbearable to watch your whole life from a bed. But I want you all to know, it is okay to be weak. It is okay to ask for help. They need you to get better to be the mother they need. Give yourself time to heal so you won’t have more complications.

    Most of all remember they love you and IT IS OKAY.

  • Uncategorized

    The Journey to a Better Me

    Good morning all. As I am sitting here recovery from surgery I thought I would share some thoughts with you.

    The road of life is filled with ups, downs, and about a million curves. We all traverse the obstacles along the way in our own unique manner. I have watched many both glide through, as well as crash into these obstacles. This always leaves me wondering about the path my life has taken and what the future may hold. I have followed everyone else’s dreams for me. I have been led and told which way to go. I have followed my own dreams and they have led me to what I am currently doing. I have a wonderful life, get to write every day, and watch my children work towards their own happily ever after. This last path is the road for me.

    I want to encourage you all to follow your dreams. Make your own path. Live for the love of living. Only by believing in yourself and listening to your heart can true happiness be achieved. Our dreams change along this path of life, but that is what makes it so great. We can have more than one dream, and realize them all. Follow you and believe in yourself.

    I hope you all have a wonderful week and that you find inspiration in everything you see.